Every person in show business has "their" show. The show that inspired them to get into the business. I can't limit mine to just one but the memories of shows that sparked my interests in musical theatre are clear as ever.
I was 9 years old. When I was 9, my world was pretty limited. I owned 2 CDs. I listened to the oldies radio station because that was my mom's favorite. And I watched the TV shows my parents told me were appropriate. At the time, ABC had a program called "The Wonderful World of Disney" which featured a different, family friendly movie every Sunday evening at 7 pm. This was the only show I was allowed to stay up and watch and even that was a rarity considering my bedtime was 8 pm. One week I saw an advertisement for the new made-for-TV version of the movie/musical, Annie. I'd never seen the original movie, didn't have the soundtrack, never seen the play...but something about this ad caught my attention. I begged my mom to let me watch it and once I did, I was hooked. I couldn't get enough of that movie. My parents realized this and bought me the VHS tape for Christmas that year and from that point on, we were inseparable. After that my world felt a little bit bigger. My parents discovered the local theatres and, as they appreciated and were involved in the arts and felt it would be good for me, they began taking me to see shows in the area. The Sound of Music, Peter Pan, My Fair Lady, Fiddler on the Roof...shows that I distinctly remember seeing and loving. This suddenly seemed like my outlet. I never admitted to anyone but I wanted to be part of that theatre experience. I wanted to sing those show tunes, be part of that family, have people come see shows I was involved in. But I kept going back, kept seeing those shows.
When I was in 8th grade, my parents wanted me to apply to Catalina. I was a student at San Benancio Middle School, a school in Salinas, and all of the popular girls were going to Notre Dame. I wanted to do what everyone else was doing. But my parents continued to tell me that applying to Catalina would be a good thing. I was pretty open to any experience by that point, desperate for some kind of change in my life. In October, my mom and I were invited to see Catalina's fall musical, Something's Afoot, by our good friend Buzz Cole who happened to be the master carpenter. We knew nothing about the show but we liked musicals and my mom knew it would be a good idea for me to see the school before my interview the following week. I didn't know what to expect but that show blew me away. I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing. We came back in January to see Alice in Wonderland and that exceed my expectations as well. But it was Bye Bye Birdie in the spring that really put it over the top. April 18, 2004. Seeing those high school girls up onstage, performing better than I'd ever seen professionals perform convinced me that theatre was something I should try. At the time I didn't realize how much this would change my life.
I started Catalina in the fall of 2004. Didn't know anybody except for 2 girls in my class and even them I didn't know too well. My mom, remembering my interest in theatre, encouraged me to sign up for theatre tech for the fall show, Good News. She reminded me that I already knew Buzz and it would be a good way for me to meet people and give this a shot. I was the first and only freshman to sign up the first day and was immediately intimidated and enamored by the upper classmen. My stage manager terrified me but I admired her even more for it. I don't remember much about the tech process before tech week besides the constant feeling of happiness and belonging. Everyone was kind. I felt accepted. I was meeting new people. And for the first time, I felt like I was finding something I was actually passionate about. We reached tech week and that's when it really hit me that this would be something I could do for awhile. Just the excitement backstage, the management aspect, the lists, the jobs, the people you met--I was on a natural high. I continued doing shows. I made more friends. And I loved every minute of it.
At one point during Good News, my mom said "honey, I don't think you should become a stage manager". And I replied, "don't worry mom, I never will". Famous. Last. Words. I did every show at Catalina during my career there. I did dance shows. I did music concerts. I did special events. I was there so much they had to limit my hours. I rose to deck captain and then to stage manager. i started doing outside shows. But in the back of my mind, I knew this wasn't practical. My plan for college was to study psychology and to continue doing theatre as a hobby. I applied to and was accepted by Saint Mary's College, my dream school--a perfect fit but for reasons unknown to me at the time. I don't know what trick of fate led me to Saint Mary's that beautiful day in August by the recommendation of several family friends but I thank God for it every day. I had emailed the technical director over the summer and we set up a time to meet. I met him the second week of classes, showed him my resume, and basically outlined my life story. He looked at me, looked at the resume, and said "so...you have a background in stage management". I told him yes, that was true, I had stage managed in high school. He then took me into the theatre, across the stage I have crossed thousands of times since, and led me into the office of Linda Baumgarder where I stood in the exact same position I have stood countless times since. She mentioned there was another student interested in stage managing their fall production of Abundance but lacked the prior experience. They figured that with her knowledge of the theatre and my minimal experience in stage management, this pairing could work quite nicely. I accepted the job and basically sealed my fate. I had no idea what I was getting into that day and I am so glad I did it.
Success is an interesting word. What defines it? Your achievements or yours compared to others? That's when it gets tricky. Am I successful? Sure. I'm a success. I was the youngest stage manager ever at Saint Mary's. I've risen up quite nicely. And I do my job well. But if I compared myself to others, you wouldn't exactly consider me top of the pyramid. I don't work in a professional theatre, I don't have a steady annual income, I don't get paid as often as I would like. Every now and then I let myself slip into the reality of others instead of my own. My time for all of that is coming...I just haven't hit it yet. Tonight I was reminded of this. My sister was telling me about what's important to her and how she defines success. It's not about your job, your car, your house, your university. It's about who's in your life and how you contribute to theirs. If all you have is a wonderful family and friends...then I'd say you're pretty darn successful. At least more successful than most of the world. And I'm glad I was reminded of this. Too often I get caught up in words, in labels, the definition of a "successful" college graduate. But then I think...what is my ultimate goal? Well...I want to go to grad school until I am 24, almost 25. Stage manage everywhere-go as big and grand as I possibly can-at least until I'm 27. Then...I'm going to start thinking about the bigger picture. I want to get married. I want kids. My success in my career will help me financially in this department and will make me an even better role model for my kids but that's not all I'll be. Theatre won't be the center of my world anymore and I need to make sure I have a life outside of it. It is important to me that my kids are surrounded by family and friends who are like family. That's the kind of life I want to live. The reason I got involved in theatre was because I just wanted to belong, to be surrounded by a great group of people. I wanted the camaraderie. That's what I need to take with me with every show I do. Being a friend and being a good person is far more important than back stabbing someone else just so you can get ahead. It's important to remember what's important to you and why you're in this business. Not for the money or for the fame but what peaked that interest, all those years ago.
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