Live Your Life

There are days I examine my life and realize that it is comprised of moments that will define my future. But for once, I'm not talking academically or professionally. Nope, tonight I'm talking about my real future--the family part. I've spent the majority of my life around children. I attended daycare for 5 years (by the time you're 9...you're over being taken care of. So I turned around a took care of the kids myself), volunteered at a preschool for 3 years, have been a camp counselor since I was 15, and I've been babysitting since I was 12. I've met so many wonderful children. And I find immense pleasure in seeing them year after year, growing and evolving and discovering the world. The greatest gift in life is to watch people grow up. This is something I took for granted when I first started working with kids but now that "my" kids are growing up much too fast for my liking, I find it remarkable how lovely they have grown up. Their personalities are defined, they have genuine likes and dislikes, they have perspective, they understand the world more, they're kind, they're generous, they understand right and wrong beyond getting rewards and punishments. And that is just plain awesome. Another group of girls I've watch grow up is my group of "sophomores". Although they are no longer sophomores, this is how I always remember them. These 6 girls, sophomore girls when I was a senior at Catalina, defined my senior year at Catalina. When I met them they were a rambunctious group. Not entirely focused, simply carefree and enjoying life. I spent many hours with them, acting as a cross between a mentor, sister, mother, teacher, and chauffeur. At the time of their graduation I took a few minutes to reflect on the beautiful women they have evolved into. Without my realization my girls grew into 6 independent, vivacious, passionate women, destined to succeed.
I now drive 2 7-year-old girls to various activities. I may only see them a couple days a week but I make sure those minutes count. I can clearly remember every babysitter, driver, counselor, and mentor I had as a kid. It's easy to forget how much you can influence kids without effort but your presence makes a difference. I make sure that during those car rides these girls learn something. That it's okay to sing at the top of your lungs. That music of all genres is cool. That being on time is essential. That compromise is necessary but little treats are special. That you are responsible for yourself and your belongings. That you must respect others. And that you will always be safe, loved, and protected. These are little lessons but they can help shape a person. And if I can make a difference in their lives, I will do my darndest to make sure it happens.
This makes me think about my own kids. My future kids. The poor things that get saddled with a crazy but very loving, passionate, patient, and organized parent. Kids aren't going to happen for awhile. My lifestyle does not accommodate the family life yet, not for awhile at least. I'm going to do the whole high powered career woman deal for the first few years (or 10...) of my professional life. Because once I do get married and have kids, that will be my priority. My current love is in the theatre. I devote hours upon hours of work and time and effort to this incredible art form. Although I am first and foremost a friend--my friends/family are neck in neck with theatre--there are times when theatre simply has to come first. Nights are theatre time. Tech weekends are theatre time. Show weekends are theatre time. That will just have to be my life for awhile. I won't be a young parent. But hopefully my age will work with me. I'll be older, hopefully wiser successful and financially secure, and ready for love. My biological clock with start ticking away at one point. And I'll know when it's time. Until then, I get to play in the theatre and watch my pretend babies grow up, hoping my own will turn out just as great as they do.
If life blesses me with a little girl of my own, I will be even luckier than I am now. I have dreams of watching my kids graduate from the pre K, lower school, and upper school of Catalina...the whole thing. So, to my future daughter, Addison (whose name I already have chosen. I'm also curious to see how this one plays out. check back with me in 20 years)...to quote rascal flatts, my wish for you is that life becomes all that you want it to...your dreams stay big, your worries stay small...