Is it just me or do expenses keep piling up? One week it's the student loan payment, the next it's gas. Then you realize that you literally have one flour tortilla and half a jar of spaghetti sauce left and you're not all that gourmet-inclined so food shopping is a necessity. But it's your friend's birthday and you love her, right? So she deserves a gift. And rehearsal was just awful tonight so that spontaneous in n out trip is worth it...just another $7, nothing major. Yet that's where the cut off line to necessary expenses wears very thin.
Now obviously I am aware that this is the problem for nearly every household in America. Unless you're blessed with a buttload of money and somehow bypassed the strain of the economical crash in which case I wish you well and secretly hope you got something else lousy to deal with. I'm not even an avid spender. I have the Parsons gene, Parsons being my mother's maiden name, which is a nice way of saying I'm cheap and will buy what's cheaper no matter what the quality is. And for the most part, I only buy essentials. But even the essentials add up. First the shampoo, then the conditioner. Then you need a new razor. Then you got hungry. And then you just saw something cute in the next aisle over and that extra $3 is totally worth it. But you forgot that the stage management kit is running low on first aid items so stocking up is a must. Pretty soon that bill gets a lot higher than you had anticipated and you're debating whether or not it's worth it. Normally the answer is, yes, it is worth it since I make every effort to save my money. But the holiday season always makes things a bit strained. That paycheck just isn't cutting it. With my severely limited hours I can only work so much and apply for work in so many areas. I'm lucky I have these jobs at all--they are truly a blessing as I need flexibility with any schedule. The worst is when all those bills add up at once, which happened to be recently. Student loan payment, gas, and christmas shopping all fell to this week. As well as the little added expense of buying a new binder and the exact right tabs and page protectors and pencils to make my Angels in America production look as professional as possible. After all, I am investing in my future. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Sometimes you just gotta dig deep, tell yourself that it all evens out in the end, and keep moving forward to prevent yourself from being buried alive by the stress of the 3 Fs--future, finances, and fate. Luckily that last one fits in quite nicely with my life motto (or one of them). "Everything happens for a reason". It does. I truly believe that. Some days it takes a little more effort to remind myself of this particular philosophy but I always see the reasoning in the end.
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