Well that certainly flew by. Suddenly we are in our final week of Jan Term. I'm as stressed as ever but I get to go home on Friday for 4.5 days :)
I wrote a screenplay yesterday. Yep, the same one I'd been complaining and stressing about since the first day of class. And somehow, it turned out pretty well.
We (by we I mean Linda and me) have decided that Yale is The school for me. It's a scary idea, knowing how difficult it's going to be to get in and it won't be a piece of cake if I go there. It will be far from home. It will mean embarking on a brand new, totally terrifying adventure. But if that's where I'm meant to go, then that's what will happen. I just have to trust that it will be okay. And that it will be the first step to achieving my goal. And I have friends on the east coast. Fiona's even in Connecticut, less than an hour away.
So I may be stressed and overwhelmed now. But if I want to win this stage management competition and get into the top theatre grad school in the country...I gotta suck it up and get through it.
:)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Well that was fun
My night should have been much more productive than it was. All I will say is a party at my suite got crazy and I literally went to the theatre to get ready for bed. My bathroom is uninhabitable at the moment.
Performing Arts Scholarship Auditions in the morning, working 9:00-4:00, then off to the church until 8:00. Long day.
Not in a great mood. Suddenly I am extremely overwhelmed with how much has to be completed in the next week. Jan Term flew by. I have a 5 page paper due Tuesday, 10 page screenplay due Friday (which was just explained today. i do not have a concrete concept yet nor much of an idea how to write it since we didn't discuss screenplay writing methods in class at all), along with the regular class readings. On top of that I am continuing to perfect my production book which is taking at least 2-3 hours a night and dealing with both Angels and SERA rehearsals. Plus work. Needless to say, I'm just a bit stressed.
Performing Arts Scholarship Auditions in the morning, working 9:00-4:00, then off to the church until 8:00. Long day.
Not in a great mood. Suddenly I am extremely overwhelmed with how much has to be completed in the next week. Jan Term flew by. I have a 5 page paper due Tuesday, 10 page screenplay due Friday (which was just explained today. i do not have a concrete concept yet nor much of an idea how to write it since we didn't discuss screenplay writing methods in class at all), along with the regular class readings. On top of that I am continuing to perfect my production book which is taking at least 2-3 hours a night and dealing with both Angels and SERA rehearsals. Plus work. Needless to say, I'm just a bit stressed.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm Disgruntled
*Dedicated to Anna Hunt, who needs to really read this and listen to what I am saying :D
xoxoxox
The problem with society (or, to be more specific, youth culture) is that adolescents are so focused on creating an image for themselves that they can't recognize their actual beauty. Being in middle school is hard. Being 11 is even harder. Not only are you suddenly facing a new school system with 6+ classes and teachers, you are desperately trying to figure out who you are as a person and the only way you know how is to compare yourself to others. Not to mention that whole puberty thing. Because everyone develops at different rates (yours truly developed very early. and it basically ruined my life. ok that's an exaggeration but it was difficult relating to my peers), friendships tend to change and attitudes start to make their appearances. Suddenly being "cool" is the new thing. Everyone wants to appear grown up and mature and act like they have a handle on their lives when really, they are just as scared as the next person. Although it's not easy being the kid looking in on what appears to be a flawless life, these "popular" kids have just as many anxieties as the rest. They just hide it behind their clothes, their makeup, their friendships, their relationships, their accessories. Even so, it's hard to be the kid who feels like she doesn't fit in with her peers simply because they are developing at different rates. You feel isolated and sometimes even ostracized, especially if close friends are changing and you simply don't fit with them anymore. It's nothing that either of you did on purpose, it's just part of life. Even so it can be heartbreaking.
I was that kid in middle school, not gonna lie. When I was 11, everything was against me. Glasses, braces, acne, zero fashion sense, out of control hair, and to top it off, I carried around about 4-5 bags everyday because I couldn't combine anything. I looked like a walking nightmare. I was also at a new school in a new school district where most of the kids had been in school together since elementary school. I felt like "the new kid" the whole time I was there. I desperately wanted a boy to like me, to look nice, to have a solid group of friends. I did find solace in my best friend, Gaby, who I met in 7th grade and I was in the concert band. But I envied the popular girls who had perfect hair and clothes, didn't seem to have any flaws, and naturally knew how to interact with boys. I wanted that more than I could admit. But middle school is a time for discovery. I found out a lot about myself. It took me until years later to realize that
1. Those weren't the kinds of boys I should be hanging around with anyway
2. I was a nicer person than most of those girls
3. I was trying to find my passion in life while they were content to find the perfect outfit and flirt with our classmates
4. It wasn't that I was less mature than my classmates, I just didn't have any interest in acting young. I was what can be classified as an "old soul". I wanted to be an adult. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself with the boys, I wanted a relationship. And I didn't want to spend my time on frivolous activities, I wanted to find a career.
And since when does having a boyfriend deem you mature? In my opinion, some of the most obnoxious, immature people I've met are those who make themselves crazy over a relationship.
My point is, middle school does not last forever. High school is when the big changes came. I learned how to conduct myself with elegance and poise, I made great, lasting friendships, I found clothing and hair styles that better suited me, and I discovered that being cool had nothing to do with who I am as a person. It wasn't a complete turn around; I wasn't "cool" in high school either but I was respected and I loved what I did. I loved having a responsibility to the theatre, I loved the people I met and their influence on me, I loved the experiences I gained. Middle school was a great learning experience and I'm actually glad I had the experience I did because I'm able to relate to young girls who don't feel like they fit in when actually, they are destined for something bigger. 3 years will eventually fly by and high school will be the best thing that ever hit you compared to those years.
And I can tell you...it's worth the wait :)
xoxoxox
The problem with society (or, to be more specific, youth culture) is that adolescents are so focused on creating an image for themselves that they can't recognize their actual beauty. Being in middle school is hard. Being 11 is even harder. Not only are you suddenly facing a new school system with 6+ classes and teachers, you are desperately trying to figure out who you are as a person and the only way you know how is to compare yourself to others. Not to mention that whole puberty thing. Because everyone develops at different rates (yours truly developed very early. and it basically ruined my life. ok that's an exaggeration but it was difficult relating to my peers), friendships tend to change and attitudes start to make their appearances. Suddenly being "cool" is the new thing. Everyone wants to appear grown up and mature and act like they have a handle on their lives when really, they are just as scared as the next person. Although it's not easy being the kid looking in on what appears to be a flawless life, these "popular" kids have just as many anxieties as the rest. They just hide it behind their clothes, their makeup, their friendships, their relationships, their accessories. Even so, it's hard to be the kid who feels like she doesn't fit in with her peers simply because they are developing at different rates. You feel isolated and sometimes even ostracized, especially if close friends are changing and you simply don't fit with them anymore. It's nothing that either of you did on purpose, it's just part of life. Even so it can be heartbreaking.
I was that kid in middle school, not gonna lie. When I was 11, everything was against me. Glasses, braces, acne, zero fashion sense, out of control hair, and to top it off, I carried around about 4-5 bags everyday because I couldn't combine anything. I looked like a walking nightmare. I was also at a new school in a new school district where most of the kids had been in school together since elementary school. I felt like "the new kid" the whole time I was there. I desperately wanted a boy to like me, to look nice, to have a solid group of friends. I did find solace in my best friend, Gaby, who I met in 7th grade and I was in the concert band. But I envied the popular girls who had perfect hair and clothes, didn't seem to have any flaws, and naturally knew how to interact with boys. I wanted that more than I could admit. But middle school is a time for discovery. I found out a lot about myself. It took me until years later to realize that
1. Those weren't the kinds of boys I should be hanging around with anyway
2. I was a nicer person than most of those girls
3. I was trying to find my passion in life while they were content to find the perfect outfit and flirt with our classmates
4. It wasn't that I was less mature than my classmates, I just didn't have any interest in acting young. I was what can be classified as an "old soul". I wanted to be an adult. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself with the boys, I wanted a relationship. And I didn't want to spend my time on frivolous activities, I wanted to find a career.
And since when does having a boyfriend deem you mature? In my opinion, some of the most obnoxious, immature people I've met are those who make themselves crazy over a relationship.
My point is, middle school does not last forever. High school is when the big changes came. I learned how to conduct myself with elegance and poise, I made great, lasting friendships, I found clothing and hair styles that better suited me, and I discovered that being cool had nothing to do with who I am as a person. It wasn't a complete turn around; I wasn't "cool" in high school either but I was respected and I loved what I did. I loved having a responsibility to the theatre, I loved the people I met and their influence on me, I loved the experiences I gained. Middle school was a great learning experience and I'm actually glad I had the experience I did because I'm able to relate to young girls who don't feel like they fit in when actually, they are destined for something bigger. 3 years will eventually fly by and high school will be the best thing that ever hit you compared to those years.
And I can tell you...it's worth the wait :)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Bedtime?
It is 11:36. I have spent my time since 8 pm unpacking, cleaning, and writing a paper on the decalogue. It is not finished. However I am about to tackle the Thou Shalt Not Murder commandment and I'm going to need sleep before I take on that adventure.
Home was wonderful. I truly loved it. Now I'm back for two more weeks (TWO WEEKS. WHERE IS JAN TERM GOING???), home again, back up here for Angels remount, competition, and spring semester.
Yikes. Time does fly.
Also. Any grad school input would be excellent! I'm applying to UCI, UCSD, Cal Arts, Columbia, and Yale for an MFA in Stage Management. I'm excited, scared, overwhelmed, and...AHHHHHH. Yep that about covers it.
Home was wonderful. I truly loved it. Now I'm back for two more weeks (TWO WEEKS. WHERE IS JAN TERM GOING???), home again, back up here for Angels remount, competition, and spring semester.
Yikes. Time does fly.
Also. Any grad school input would be excellent! I'm applying to UCI, UCSD, Cal Arts, Columbia, and Yale for an MFA in Stage Management. I'm excited, scared, overwhelmed, and...AHHHHHH. Yep that about covers it.
Home is Whenever I'm with You
Shannon and Paisley
Shannon and Katie
Shannon and Charlotte
Shannon and Gabby
Shannon and Anna
So overjoyed to be home for the night. Catalina performed Up the Down Staircase tonight and if you have never seen this show, I highly recommend it. My girls were brilliant and I'm so proud of them. Gotta love Catalina campers! They're so old now.. I got to spend some time with them after the show and it's just really nice to get some one on one time with them. I don't see them as much as I would like so tonight was wonderful.
I love you Gabby, Katie, Paisley, Charlotte, Devynn, and Abbey!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Change Can be Good
Number 1, I've never had someone like my status so much as when I posted that I officially have a major. Thanks everyone for your support, I'm glad I have a real major now too!
Jan Term has made me lazy. That saying about getting more done when you have less free time? SO true. I almost have too much free time yet not enough at the same time. Competition in a month? AH
Your random advice for the night? Topic: Words
Words are important. They're our direct connection and communication between people. It's hard to recognize how much your words can affect a person. What you may think of a casual statement could influence a person's philosophy. One example of this I take from my sophomore year of high school. It's a tradition for the cast and crew to circle up before every show. It's a way for us to pump up the energy and generally bond before we get out there and do our stuff. The closing circle for every show is always a bit sad but especially the spring show. I also happened to be extremely close to the class of 2006 (anna was in this class--anyone surprised?). The seniors are allowed to make a closing night speech and everyone tends to cry during the spring show. The seniors happened to be very eloquent and mature women but something that Caitlin Harris has stuck with me every since. "When you apply to Catalina, they tell you the two best things about the place are the friends you make and the theatre. But what they don't tell you is about the friends you make through theatre". She had no way of knowing it at the time but that had a profound impact on me. I even used it as one of my senior quotes and have it on my wall. It was a special moment I'm not likely to forget.
I also have a tendency of keeping and displaying cards that mean something to me. I currently have a card on my bookshelf from Anna that reads "I love you. Never forget that okay? I'm glad I get to watch you grow up". One of my greatest pleasures in life is to watch girls grow up so to know that she thinks the same of me is a very nice thought. And looking at the card is my daily reminder that I feel secure and loved and no matter what will always be supported.
I'm lucky that way--people in my life have such a wonderful influence on me that I feel stronger by knowing them
Jan Term has made me lazy. That saying about getting more done when you have less free time? SO true. I almost have too much free time yet not enough at the same time. Competition in a month? AH
Your random advice for the night? Topic: Words
Words are important. They're our direct connection and communication between people. It's hard to recognize how much your words can affect a person. What you may think of a casual statement could influence a person's philosophy. One example of this I take from my sophomore year of high school. It's a tradition for the cast and crew to circle up before every show. It's a way for us to pump up the energy and generally bond before we get out there and do our stuff. The closing circle for every show is always a bit sad but especially the spring show. I also happened to be extremely close to the class of 2006 (anna was in this class--anyone surprised?). The seniors are allowed to make a closing night speech and everyone tends to cry during the spring show. The seniors happened to be very eloquent and mature women but something that Caitlin Harris has stuck with me every since. "When you apply to Catalina, they tell you the two best things about the place are the friends you make and the theatre. But what they don't tell you is about the friends you make through theatre". She had no way of knowing it at the time but that had a profound impact on me. I even used it as one of my senior quotes and have it on my wall. It was a special moment I'm not likely to forget.
I also have a tendency of keeping and displaying cards that mean something to me. I currently have a card on my bookshelf from Anna that reads "I love you. Never forget that okay? I'm glad I get to watch you grow up". One of my greatest pleasures in life is to watch girls grow up so to know that she thinks the same of me is a very nice thought. And looking at the card is my daily reminder that I feel secure and loved and no matter what will always be supported.
I'm lucky that way--people in my life have such a wonderful influence on me that I feel stronger by knowing them
Monday, January 10, 2011
Ramblings
I think I had an idea about what I wanted to blog about tonight. But I've forgotten.
Going home Saturday to see the play, Up the Down Staircase at Catalina! Some of my dearest campers, who are now upper school stars, will be in this show and I'm so excited to see them. It's also one of their birthdays which is another incentive to going down.
Dance rocks. I love it. Modern isn't really my thing--I'm not used to isolating the torso and shoulders and head--but it's a great way to start my day. Although it's different from ballet, where you only have about 6 positions your arms can be in and everything is in a perfect line, it's fun to see what I'm capable of.
Still cold up here. And by cold I mean 44 degrees by day, 36 by night. Which by California standards means it either needs to snow or warm up. By this point I don't really care which one, it just needs to make a decision.
My regular class is going well which surprises me. I TALKED IN CLASS TODAY. I'm not great at speaking out so this is a big deal to me. Not so much to others but a personal victory for myself.
Going home Saturday to see the play, Up the Down Staircase at Catalina! Some of my dearest campers, who are now upper school stars, will be in this show and I'm so excited to see them. It's also one of their birthdays which is another incentive to going down.
Dance rocks. I love it. Modern isn't really my thing--I'm not used to isolating the torso and shoulders and head--but it's a great way to start my day. Although it's different from ballet, where you only have about 6 positions your arms can be in and everything is in a perfect line, it's fun to see what I'm capable of.
Still cold up here. And by cold I mean 44 degrees by day, 36 by night. Which by California standards means it either needs to snow or warm up. By this point I don't really care which one, it just needs to make a decision.
My regular class is going well which surprises me. I TALKED IN CLASS TODAY. I'm not great at speaking out so this is a big deal to me. Not so much to others but a personal victory for myself.
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