Updates. Again.

You would think that with all my free time I would be updating more. Oops.

A lot has been going on. It's been a difficult couple of weeks but I'm staying positive. That's the only thing that will really cure this!

I've been home for a little over a week. I miss St.Mary's and the east bay but it's not quite as bad as it was last week. I'm heading up next weekend to work a show for Linda, to see Sam, and to watch the Tonys with Danielle. I cannot wait.

My girls graduated! I cannot believe they're going to college. My relationship with them has been a cross between a sister/mentor/mother and to see all 6 of them graduate was incredible. I couldn't be more proud. I also miss them very much and aware of the changes that will be coming up. But the graduation was beautiful as always and I had a wonderful day with them. I'll always remember the times we shared at Catalina with great fondness-they gave me some of the best memories. Brittny Marie, Taylor Mariah, Caroline Holly, Alexandra Nicole, Alena Christine, and Caitlin Muriel--I love you!

My financial situation has taken a turn for the worst. If I don't get scholarships or approved for enough loans, I won't be back at SMC in the fall. I've always known that money is a concern but I naively assumed it would work itself out. That may still happen but our time is very tight to figure this out. Tensions are high and the idea of not going back to SMC absolutely terrifies me. I refuse to entertain the idea because I can't handle it. I'm just going to keep calling banks, looking for scholarships, and keeping my fingers crossed because that's really all I can do right now.

My grandma is living with us part time. She's 94. She has always been the most active, independent woman of her age that I've ever known but about 2 months ago, she fell and fractured her hip. Her hip is doing much better but her fall was an indicator that she had taken a turn for the worst. Her memory is not very strong and neither is her eyesight. She requires around the clock supervision. She stays with us once or twice a week and it is both the most rewarding and most heartbreaking part of my life. She is completely sweet and sincere and she has the wittiest remarks that come out of nowhere. I know her life will be ending sometime soon--it could be tomorrow, it could be 5 years from now--but it is inevitable. It's both sad and amazing to have her around.

Sam was in the hospital. Her sister Zoe told me on Monday and I nearly had a heart attack. She'll be totally fine and I really shouldn't worry but the mention of hospitals freak me out. It could be for the most minor injury or illness and I would still get an awful feeling. I've had enough of hospitals this year...please no more...I love people too much.

That whole first kiss situation from May is still floating around in my mind. It did not end well. If you want details...just ask, I'll give them. All I have to say is boys need to think before they act. They can end up really hurting people who care about them.

All in all, I'm trying to stay positive. I have a lot of worries but I'm trying not to let them get me down. I have both Beauty and the Beast and Rent to look forward to. Summer camp always cheers me up. And I have the best friends in the world. Everything happens for a reason...I just gotta keep remembering that.

Recap

It's been awhile since I've posted because I was hoping to rid myself of the majority of my emotions before I said anything. Well...that kind of happened.

School ended. I didn't really have a final "ta da" moment so it didn't hit me for a few days that I was actually done with school.

Senior send off was wonderful. Marissa won the department award, so proud of her.

Moved in with Sam for 4 days and had an amazing time. Her cat was so sweet to be around.

Graduation was beautiful. I couldn't be prouder of my friends but I was sad at the same time. The weather was awesome though.

Sam's grad party was when I really lost it. Her sister and I cried through all the toasts and I eventually had to excuse myself to go back to her apartment so I could just sit with myself for awhile and pull myself together.

Our closing weekend couldn't have gone any better. Full houses, lots of tears and laughter, so many memories. A few mishaps but we got through them. Zoe, Sam's sister, gave me the sweetest note during the last show. Such a mature and thoughtful girl. The closing show was hard but the response was great and we all left with smiles.

Now I'm home. I have a lot of issues to deal with but I'll post about those later. For now...I'm getting ready to watch my girls graduate from Catalina on Saturday and appreciating the beauty that is my life.

Nope

I should not be allowed to watch tragic or sappy endings of tv shows I love.

I watched the Desperate Housewives season finale. That one ended nicely. One cliffhanger but it just makes me curious not depressed.

Then I watched Brothers and Sisters, my absolute favorite. It had a completely tragic ending and for the life of me I could not stop crying. I am not someone who breaks down over tv shows. I might get sad and a little choked up but to completely lose it?

Wow. This is going to be a fun week.

Countdown

Down to the last week.

Monday: Attending the Acting 3 final: 12:00

Math Final: 2:00-4:00

Dinner with Linda and Danielle: 4:30

Work on Comm Final/finish up SM final: Whenever I get back until whenever I feel like going to bed..

Tuesday: SM final due at 2:00

Finish Comm final and edit Bay Area Final

Finish grad gifts

Wednesday: Turn in Comm final

Turn in and Present Bay Area Final 11:30

Check out of room: 2:40

Senior send off: 5:30

Show at Berkeley Rep: 8:00

Go to Sam's after the show

Thursday: FREEDOM

Show 8 pm

Friday: MORE FREEDOM

And a show at 8 pm

Saturday: Graduation, 9 am

Sam's grad party 2:00-5:00

Show 8 pm

Let the emotions commence

Sunday: Show 2 pm

Driving home

Lots. and Lots. and Lots. of emotions

Moving On

The closing night of Define Gravity was absolutely stunning. This being Marissa and Vera's final show, I was having a lot of fun trying to keep it together all night. I really hope everyone in the booth enjoyed watching that haha. But the show looked great and I think it was my best night in terms of calling. I did lose it once Cathy gave them their flowers onstage at the end...and then she called me down from the booth to also receive flowers. See, I should have expected this since she does this for every show but my memory failed me. It was cute to go out on stage after having cried in the booth but it really meant a lot to me. Cathy is the only director who has done that for me and it is an incredible feeling. Being a stage manager means giving up that kind of attention (and we do so willingly) but it's a very special feeling to be a part of a company onstage as well as backstage. I already miss the show and the dancers (seriously, fast brass won't stop playing in my head. it's like an video set on repeat) but I went back to DAE today which makes it all better.

2 weeks left...

Define Gravity

Define Gravity, Saint Mary's College Dance Company's spring show, opens tonight! It is a beautiful show, per usual, and I am having a blast working on it. Though I am missing Joel, Ginny, Scott, Sam, and Zoe at DAE terribly, I am very lucky I was able to take a week off and SM this dance show. And I will be rejoining them on Sunday.

The featured piece in the dance show is called Fast Brass, an incredibly difficult and stunning work choreographed by renowned choreographer Janice Garrett. The 5 dancers who perform this are so talented that this piece was selected to go to the nationals for the American College Theater Festival in Washington, DC--a first for our department! Fast Brass is not only challenging choreographically, it is also challenging technically. The cues must be EXACT and called in very precise places. That and the fact that the music is very frantic makes calling this piece extremely stressfully but ultimately one of the most rewarding of my stage management career. Every night my nerves start battling each other and once its over, I realized how much this piece is a testament to the skills I have gained over the past 2 years. This piece is simply amazing.

Shannon's to do list:

Communication and Social Understanding Presentation

Communication and Social Understanding Final Paper

Bay Area Theater Final Interview Project

Bay Area Theater Reflection on GIRLFRIEND at Berkeley Rep

Finite Mathematics Final

Stage Management Final

Open Define Gravity

Close Define Gravity

Tech LEAP dance concert

SM LEAP dance concert

SM the rest of Same Time Next Year

Attend graduation

Pack??????????

It's that time of year again

Yep. School ends in less than 3 weeks. I go home in exactly 3 weeks. And per usual, I am not dealing with it well. There is so much going on right now and I am trying to soak up and give out as much love and support as possible because pretty soon I'll be gone and missing everyone. I am absolutely in love with my show right now. Same Time Next Year is one of the most beautiful pieces of theater I have ever seen and it is such a privilege to be able to work on it every night with some of the most incredible people. I have fallen in love with DAE as well. I feel like this is the perfect company for me to work with and I can only hope that they hire me again.

Dance show tech starts today! I am taking a week off of STNY to do that. I am cannot wait.

My nostalgia is seriously taking over so I should stop before I start to gush.