A lot has been going on. It's been a difficult couple of weeks but I'm staying positive. That's the only thing that will really cure this!
I've been home for a little over a week. I miss St.Mary's and the east bay but it's not quite as bad as it was last week. I'm heading up next weekend to work a show for Linda, to see Sam, and to watch the Tonys with Danielle. I cannot wait.
My girls graduated! I cannot believe they're going to college. My relationship with them has been a cross between a sister/mentor/mother and to see all 6 of them graduate was incredible. I couldn't be more proud. I also miss them very much and aware of the changes that will be coming up. But the graduation was beautiful as always and I had a wonderful day with them. I'll always remember the times we shared at Catalina with great fondness-they gave me some of the best memories. Brittny Marie, Taylor Mariah, Caroline Holly, Alexandra Nicole, Alena Christine, and Caitlin Muriel--I love you!
My financial situation has taken a turn for the worst. If I don't get scholarships or approved for enough loans, I won't be back at SMC in the fall. I've always known that money is a concern but I naively assumed it would work itself out. That may still happen but our time is very tight to figure this out. Tensions are high and the idea of not going back to SMC absolutely terrifies me. I refuse to entertain the idea because I can't handle it. I'm just going to keep calling banks, looking for scholarships, and keeping my fingers crossed because that's really all I can do right now.
My grandma is living with us part time. She's 94. She has always been the most active, independent woman of her age that I've ever known but about 2 months ago, she fell and fractured her hip. Her hip is doing much better but her fall was an indicator that she had taken a turn for the worst. Her memory is not very strong and neither is her eyesight. She requires around the clock supervision. She stays with us once or twice a week and it is both the most rewarding and most heartbreaking part of my life. She is completely sweet and sincere and she has the wittiest remarks that come out of nowhere. I know her life will be ending sometime soon--it could be tomorrow, it could be 5 years from now--but it is inevitable. It's both sad and amazing to have her around.
Sam was in the hospital. Her sister Zoe told me on Monday and I nearly had a heart attack. She'll be totally fine and I really shouldn't worry but the mention of hospitals freak me out. It could be for the most minor injury or illness and I would still get an awful feeling. I've had enough of hospitals this year...please no more...I love people too much.
That whole first kiss situation from May is still floating around in my mind. It did not end well. If you want details...just ask, I'll give them. All I have to say is boys need to think before they act. They can end up really hurting people who care about them.
All in all, I'm trying to stay positive. I have a lot of worries but I'm trying not to let them get me down. I have both Beauty and the Beast and Rent to look forward to. Summer camp always cheers me up. And I have the best friends in the world. Everything happens for a reason...I just gotta keep remembering that.
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