You can thank my director, Reid, for the use of the word "stasis". It's one of his favorites to use in acting class and during rehearsal processes
Today was one of those crazy whirlwind days which began in a lovely way.
Spent about an hour talking to Linda which is definitely something I needed. With all of the projects I'm working on, she's one of the people I need most to remind me that it will all be okay.
Almost got an internship today but I don't think that one's going to work out so I'm literally back to square one. Keep your fingers crossed...I'm getting worried.
My dad finally came home! His truck broke down at our cabin and he was supposed to be back on Wednesday but now he's home
One of my closest friends will be leaving the country for awhile. Limited communication to the states. I'm going to miss her terribly I really gotta get better about dealing with stuff like this.
I'll be going to the American College Dance Festival in March which I'm really excited about. I'll be stage managing one of our dance pieces which is an awesome opportunity for me. I've never gone before but as it's my senior year, Linda and Cathy have been trying for awhile to find the right time for me to go and now we found it!
Confession: I really like a Miley Cyrus song right now. I KNOW, as a person she disgusts me and for the most part her voice is obnoxious but her song "I'll always remember you" is pretty fitting for my life right now
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
What's Normal
Normal people sleep at 2 am
I study for the math section of the GRE with my kitty sleeping next to me and listen to the Yale Whiffenpoofs on repeat as my reminder for why I'm doing this crazy thing
I swear to God, whoever wrote out the explanations of these problems has never taught a class on math. Either that or their class failed because they are so unclear
I study for the math section of the GRE with my kitty sleeping next to me and listen to the Yale Whiffenpoofs on repeat as my reminder for why I'm doing this crazy thing
I swear to God, whoever wrote out the explanations of these problems has never taught a class on math. Either that or their class failed because they are so unclear
Dear Small Critters
Dear small critters who insist on skittering across my roof at night,
Um
Stop
It's becoming increasingly annoying and I do not like noises in the night
Thanks
Um
Stop
It's becoming increasingly annoying and I do not like noises in the night
Thanks
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Reminders
There's a lot I have to conquer
Internship
Grad School Apps
GRE
Senior Project
Any number of these would be enough to keep me busy but, per usual, I'm not taking the easy way out
Tonight I pulled out my Angels in America binder, the one thing that's going to get me through the next few months, as a reminder for why I'm doing all of this. That binder is the representation of everything I've learned for the past 7 years and a demonstration of my ability...proof that, in fact I can do this.
So when I get overwhelmed, which is a frequent occurrence, or doubt that I can actually pull this off (also a frequent occurrence), I just need to pull out that binder. It's full to capacity with memories...the memories of the original production and the tour and everything those meant to me. It wasn't an easy process by any means but it bonded us together. We undertook one of the greatest adventures of our careers and I will never forget what that meant to me. The people I worked with, the people who believed in us, and the people I spent time with during the process...that's what that show really was. How we all came together for this common goal...the true representation of theatre.
I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where I'm going to get an internship, how good my grad school essays will be, if I will be able to answer a single question on the math section of the GRE, if my senior project will make Linda proud, or if I will even get into grad school. I don't even know how much sleep or real rest I'm going to get until I have a definite answer for all of these questions but I do know that I will get through it. Through every email to theatre companies, every rewritten grad school essay, every demanding question on the GRE, every step I take to perfect my senior project, and even through the potential grad school rejections. Because I have something that not everyone can boast about. I have the most incredible support system you could ever imagine. They believe in me, they believe in theatre, and they actually know how to do their jobs well. If I fail it won't be from lack of trying.
Internship
Grad School Apps
GRE
Senior Project
Any number of these would be enough to keep me busy but, per usual, I'm not taking the easy way out
Tonight I pulled out my Angels in America binder, the one thing that's going to get me through the next few months, as a reminder for why I'm doing all of this. That binder is the representation of everything I've learned for the past 7 years and a demonstration of my ability...proof that, in fact I can do this.
So when I get overwhelmed, which is a frequent occurrence, or doubt that I can actually pull this off (also a frequent occurrence), I just need to pull out that binder. It's full to capacity with memories...the memories of the original production and the tour and everything those meant to me. It wasn't an easy process by any means but it bonded us together. We undertook one of the greatest adventures of our careers and I will never forget what that meant to me. The people I worked with, the people who believed in us, and the people I spent time with during the process...that's what that show really was. How we all came together for this common goal...the true representation of theatre.
I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where I'm going to get an internship, how good my grad school essays will be, if I will be able to answer a single question on the math section of the GRE, if my senior project will make Linda proud, or if I will even get into grad school. I don't even know how much sleep or real rest I'm going to get until I have a definite answer for all of these questions but I do know that I will get through it. Through every email to theatre companies, every rewritten grad school essay, every demanding question on the GRE, every step I take to perfect my senior project, and even through the potential grad school rejections. Because I have something that not everyone can boast about. I have the most incredible support system you could ever imagine. They believe in me, they believe in theatre, and they actually know how to do their jobs well. If I fail it won't be from lack of trying.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Amazing
It is utterly amazing that after twenty minutes of passionate hysterical sobbing over...well the instigator was my GRE math study guide and it was just downhill from there...that all I needed was to go through all of my tagged photos on Facebook and remind myself of all the crazy fun memories I've had.
Good to know because I feel like this is going to be a recurring theme this year.
Good to know because I feel like this is going to be a recurring theme this year.
Monday, August 8, 2011
The Skates
Today I laced up my competition roller skates for the first time in over a year. I went skating last year with my suite but those were rental skates and although they got the job done, they weren't mine.
Wearing these skates reminded me how much fun and security I felt while I was skating. These skates look worn. Their once pure white color and perfect round wheels are now stained with memories of every competition, every practice, and every routine I executed. But their familiar feel and look is comforting. Although it took me a little longer to lace them up (I used to be the first person out of the floor and the first to leave at the end of practice because of the speed at which I laced my skates), the routine felt familiar.
Skating in my front entry way isn't quite the same as having an entire seamless floor over which to skate but it was the idea that this is still something to which I belong. This is my sport and I miss having the chance to do this 3-4 times a week.
So my hips are now sore from trying the spreadeagle and I definitely fell once but it's totally worth it.
Wearing these skates reminded me how much fun and security I felt while I was skating. These skates look worn. Their once pure white color and perfect round wheels are now stained with memories of every competition, every practice, and every routine I executed. But their familiar feel and look is comforting. Although it took me a little longer to lace them up (I used to be the first person out of the floor and the first to leave at the end of practice because of the speed at which I laced my skates), the routine felt familiar.
Skating in my front entry way isn't quite the same as having an entire seamless floor over which to skate but it was the idea that this is still something to which I belong. This is my sport and I miss having the chance to do this 3-4 times a week.
So my hips are now sore from trying the spreadeagle and I definitely fell once but it's totally worth it.
Hello Again
Somehow this summer has dwindled down to nothing but three weeks left. I don't really know when that happened, as is the case with much in my life. Sadly I spend so much time living in the future that I forget to appreciate the day to day miracles.
So what does this mean? It means my jobs are done. It means I should begin getting ready for school. And it really means I should be doing everything I put off all summer. However, as I am constantly examining my life and attempting to understand why I am the way I am, I've discovered that there is no point trying to make me do something unless I am entirely motivated and whole heartedly willing to put in the effort. And on the flip side, once I find that motivation it is essential I follow through because who knows when it will come back.
Which has led us to where we are today. Spending long days sitting in my house, streaming Netflix for endless hours, eating as poorly as a reasonable person could, and cuddling with my cat. Upon tiring of these frivolous activities, I study for the GRE...at 2:00 am. I could be reasonable and just sleep but I know that I have to grab those moments of motivation or I will literally never get anything done. I wish I could say the motivation to write my grad school essays had surfaced but sadly that desire is remaining dormant for the moment. For topics that seem so easy I'm having the most difficult time forming complete sentences. How do you reduce your entire passion and structure of life into six five-hundred word essays?
On the one hand, I could talk for hours about theatre. How theatre changed my life. Why I feel stage management is simply ingrained into my soul and defines every move I make. How a school changed the way I saw myself. And how one person made all of that come together. And on the other hand, I am accustomed to talking about these defining moments in conversational terms and I am trying to impress the top universities in the country. But no pressure or anything.
Those are the thoughts of the night. More tomorrow.
With love
***
Case in Point: I wrote the first paragraph to my Columbia essay (or...the first draft of it anyway)
Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, Lean towards the Prospective
Theatre is a collective experience, rich with integrity, theories, and ardor. In my years of working in theatre I have been blessed to work with many lovely and passionate artists, and I have also been fortunate to see the positive light in every negative situation. With each show brings countless reasons to laugh, inevitable instances from which to learn, and appreciated moments of stasis. As I continue to hone my craft I am perpetually acquiring new influences that dictate the doctrine by which I stage manage. I view every show as a new challenge, a new learning experience, and new opportunity to make the acquaintance of someone with the ability to change my life.
So what does this mean? It means my jobs are done. It means I should begin getting ready for school. And it really means I should be doing everything I put off all summer. However, as I am constantly examining my life and attempting to understand why I am the way I am, I've discovered that there is no point trying to make me do something unless I am entirely motivated and whole heartedly willing to put in the effort. And on the flip side, once I find that motivation it is essential I follow through because who knows when it will come back.
Which has led us to where we are today. Spending long days sitting in my house, streaming Netflix for endless hours, eating as poorly as a reasonable person could, and cuddling with my cat. Upon tiring of these frivolous activities, I study for the GRE...at 2:00 am. I could be reasonable and just sleep but I know that I have to grab those moments of motivation or I will literally never get anything done. I wish I could say the motivation to write my grad school essays had surfaced but sadly that desire is remaining dormant for the moment. For topics that seem so easy I'm having the most difficult time forming complete sentences. How do you reduce your entire passion and structure of life into six five-hundred word essays?
On the one hand, I could talk for hours about theatre. How theatre changed my life. Why I feel stage management is simply ingrained into my soul and defines every move I make. How a school changed the way I saw myself. And how one person made all of that come together. And on the other hand, I am accustomed to talking about these defining moments in conversational terms and I am trying to impress the top universities in the country. But no pressure or anything.
Those are the thoughts of the night. More tomorrow.
With love
***
Case in Point: I wrote the first paragraph to my Columbia essay (or...the first draft of it anyway)
Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, Lean towards the Prospective
Theatre is a collective experience, rich with integrity, theories, and ardor. In my years of working in theatre I have been blessed to work with many lovely and passionate artists, and I have also been fortunate to see the positive light in every negative situation. With each show brings countless reasons to laugh, inevitable instances from which to learn, and appreciated moments of stasis. As I continue to hone my craft I am perpetually acquiring new influences that dictate the doctrine by which I stage manage. I view every show as a new challenge, a new learning experience, and new opportunity to make the acquaintance of someone with the ability to change my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)